1. Do a Fiat-Chrysler
You may have heard some time ago that Fiat-Chrysler declared that it would be pooling its average emissions with none other than Tesla, as part of a deal that Elon Musk has jokingly referred to as - in part - paying for his planned European Gigafactory. Presumably Tesla is selling its credits for less than the potential EU fines, ensuring both sides are happy.
Insiders suggest, however, that Fiat Chrysler is not alone in this action, and that there are a surplus of Tesla credits being quietly snapped up by other car makers on short-term deals with less public fanfare. How true this is remains to be proven, and this official list of pooling isn't providing any smoking guns.
It's an allowable loophole that will surely close in time - although you might argue that high-polluting car makers funding the development of EV makers is entirely justified. Either way, it will be fascinating if the list of those working with Tesla (or other EV makers) is ever made fully public.
2. Make the customer pay
Scan the price lists of some car makers and you'll note some fairly significant rises have been laid down over the past 12 months, not all of which can reasonably be pointed to resulting from the see-saw value of our currency as we ride the Brexit roller-coaster.
The suggestion is that these car makers, fully aware of the crippling fines inbound, are building up war chests in preparation. Sure, some will also launch EVs and plug-in hybrids in earnest to reduce the costs, but for many it is already too late to fully dodge a bill.
For clues as to who might be doing this, it is perhaps quickest to look to any car maker launching an inaugural EV later this year, which will almost certainly be too little, too late.
Likewise, there were suggestions that the recent return of the VW Up GTI came with a price hike that was notably in line with the expected fines for how far its emissions were over 95g/km. While the numbers tally perfectly, there has been no official confirmation or denial this is the case, and car enthusiasts may argue they'd rather the car existed at the higher price than not at all.
3. Stop selling some cars
Sounds daft, doesn't it, but already the sales lists are being stripped out as car makers limit supply or take vehicles off sale that breach the 95g/km mark.
It's not just big, obviously polluting vehicles, either - while 95g/km is the headline average figure car makers must hit, there are weight variables that are factored in. As such, several higher-polluting city cars (such as those linked to older engines and auto gearboxes) have fallen prey to the cutter's axe.
In truth, almost all car makers are at this, offsetting the cost of lost sales against the scale of potential fines, or the losses many incur when they sell an electrified (and especially all-electric) vehicle.
The planning departments are certainly earning their overtime this year, and it's no secret that several manufacturers have teams of staff calculating their rolling averages fulltime.
4. Stop selling all cars
Stop sniggering at the back, because if industry gossip is to be believed then the primary motivating factor for Infiniti withdrawing from Europe was less about the fact very few customers wanted its cars and more about the exposure to fines it would have faced, making an already borderline business case completely untenable.