You have to learn how to read the official numbers and, having learned, realise how little they are to be relied upon. Don’t do this and you’ll believe a 562bhp Turbo S really is only 2.5mpg more thirsty than a 414bhp S, which is a nonsense. Likewise the Hybrid and Diesel S are apparently almost identically frugal despite the latter having a lot more power and almost twice the torque of the former.
So back in the real world, the only Cayenne that can be described as remotely frugal is the basic diesel, which really will do 35mpg if you’re gentle with it. The Turbos are terrifyingly easy to get into the teens and will only do the 24.6mpg claimed for them if driven like Miss Daisy on the chauffeur’s day off.
The others are all strung between these poles and none of them, not even the hybrid, offering better than mediocre consumption. At least all UK cars benefit from a massive 100 litre fuel tank, in Europe it’s standard only on the Turbos with a barely adequate 85 litres for the rest.
Be sensible with the specification and a Cayenne will prove one of the slowest depreciating cars of any kind you can currently buy. A standard diesel with nav, full leather seats and not much else from the options list will cling to its value like a barnacle to the bottom of a boat.
But if you buy a Turbo S (already a six figure investment) and spend a lot on extras and accessories, you can still expect pain when you come to sell the car.