The turbocharged engine's responses aren't as keen as the more modern options, either. Stand on the the throttle and power takes time to build, sometimes arriving in a sufficient enough flurry to comprehensively unstick the front tyres. The dual-clutch automatic gearbox isn't quite as swift to shift and take up power as you might expect, either, but it's otherwise proficient.
Once you've got the VW going, however, it certainly motors along in a suitably swift fashion. Get the Scirocco off the line cleanly and it'll dispatch the 0-62mph sprint in a claimed 5.5sec – although our timing gear suggests 6.0sec is more likely in real-world conditions.
It also sounds more characterful than, say, the new Audi TT, with a pronounced burble from the exhaust at idle and a baritone note at higher speeds. That prominent exhaust note doesn't disappear at part throttle, though; this can be annoying when you've settled into a sensible motorway cruise.
Inside, you'll find a spacious and neatly appointed cabin, albeit one that's starting to feel a little dated. It's easy to find a comfortable seating position, in part thanks to a height and reach-adjustable column, and two adults can sit in relative comfort in the back.
You get lots of kit for the money, too, including dual-zone climate control, sat-nav, parking sensors, a DAB radio and electrically operated, heated mirrors. It's only a shame that cruise control doesn't make it onto the standard kit list.
The Scirocco has other strong points, too. Road and wind noise is acceptably low, even at motorway speeds, the ride is surprisingly pliant and it stops quickly and without fuss. Intrusive exhaust notwithstanding, it's relatively painless to drive the Scirocco R for long distances.
Should I buy one?
It's difficult to recommend the Scirocco R outright, truth be told. That's not to say it's a bad car, merely that its rivals have now moved on in leaps and bounds.
For example, the cheaper BMW M135i and the similarly priced M235i are faster, with more evocative six-cylinder engines and the considerably higher degree of engagement.
Many may also prefer their rear-wheel drive layout, among other things. After all, paying £34k for what is, in effect, a four-cylinder, front-wheel-drive hatch will probably prove a fairly unappealing prospect for most.
Even the latest Audi TT is more rewarding and exciting to drive, thanks in part to its sharper responses and lighter-feeling nature. Several of the Scirocco's rivals are much newer cars and feel it, too, further denting its appeal.
The Volkswagen has its merits, though, such as its relatively practical interior, generous equipment level and decent straight-line speed.
If those are higher up your list of priorities than handling finesse and outright entertainment and you decide to take the plunge, don't forget to call some brokers first, because Sciroccos are hardly huge sellers and decent discounts are usually available. We found one broker offering £4000 off the list price of a Scirocco R, making it more tempting.