Meet the Mean Machine, my old Fiat Panda 100HP. It was my first car and, as it turned out, a bit of a brat.
Because it’s a Panda, you might think you can run it on a shoestring, but you’d be dead wrong. It turns out Fiat went a bit mad developing the 100HP, fabricating new parts wherever it could get away with it. I could forgive a bespoke rear axle, given the move from rear drums to discs, but did we really need a special rear wiper?
When I knocked the front bumper, a replacement (in the wrong colour) was £500. Then the car failed its MOT on its front wishbones – yet another 100HP-specific bit – and I was billed another £540.
I grew a little frustrated with its ability to wallop my credit card, but every time I drove the car I was reminded how good it was. On one memorable occasion I took a wrong turn and ended up on the South Downs, giving chase to a Ferrari 296.
This brief encounter summarised the simple joy of the 100HP. The 296 was plodding along completely normally yet, with just 1.4 litres at my disposal and that lovely dashboard-mounted, short-throw gearlever in hand, I had to really work to keep pace.
With the throaty four-pot barking through the firewall and the speedo flitting between 30mph and 60mph, a bumble down sunny country lanes turned into a proper dogfight – for me, at least, for I'm sure the Ferrari driver had no idea of my presence.
All I cared about was keeping crimson in sight. In such moments of absolute immersion, all its sins were forgiven.
But when the weather took a turn for the worse and my brother wanted a lift home from the nearby tube station late one evening, I rushed out, turned the key and – achoo! The Panda had caught a cold.
I was told by fellow 100HP owners that the weird noise from under the bonnet was just a foible of the starter motor, as it doesn’t much like chilly weather. That or it was on its way out, putting yet another bill on the horizon. Either way, it sapped my confidence in the car.
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That's the trouble with used car bargains. Most are a significant risk, especially when they are old and Italian. Some things never change! I donut doubt that it was a great little car when new though.
Well, a story about a Panda turning Pandemic.
We had our 100hp for over 10 years and in lots of ways I wish we'd kept it. The only things that failed beyond consumables were the electric steering unit (reconditioned for about £300) the bumpstops, and a back box. It wasn't mollycoddled and as far as I know there were no rust issues when I sold it for almost what I paid for it. Maybe I got lucky.