We’re rolling up to the Goodwood start line, supercharged 6.2-litre V8 rumbling away up front. Patiently waiting under my right foot are 535bhp and 495lb ft of torque.
The Bristol Project Pinnacle up ahead squirms off towards turn one and a marshal instructs me to edge the Vauxhall VXR8 Maloo onto the line. I coast up to it, stop, slot the gear lever into first and look ahead while squeezing the throttle.
The marshal’s hand rises. I quickly lift the clutch.
I’ve never done what I would call a proper burnout before, because the rear tyres have either dug in and lurched the car forward or I’ve backed out before anything dramatic takes hold. But in the Maloo – which is basically a rebadged Holden Ute with next to no weight over its rear axle - things couldn’t be more different. Burnouts are easy.
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As we edge over the start line the rear wheels are rotating so fast that the engine is beginning to bite into its limiter, yet our rate of progress is slow. I glance at the rear view mirror; white smoke. This, I conclude, is a proper burnout.
It’s not until I ease off that the back tyres begin to bite into the asphalt, and when they do I quickly switch the traction control back on. There’s a flint wall to deal with on this run, and I don’t fancy ploughing Vauxhall’s shiny red pick-up into it.
The first corner gets dismissed with the slightest of wobbles and I power towards Molecomb, a high-speed left that’s caught out some experienced racers in recent years. I have absolutely no intention of joining this list of crashers, so I prepare myself to flick the car left. But before I can even attempt it, my run is brought to an end. The red flags are out: someone’s come off ahead.
Just like that, my fast run is over. While it’s disappointing, I accept that this is motorsport. Anyway, my run back to the pits - following a Ferrari F12tdf and FXX - is more than enough to cover my losses. That's because while the run is slow, it’s the perfect chance to soak up the atmosphere of more than 150,000 spectators, many of whom line the edge of the track.
It would be unfair to deny them the chance of experiencing this bonkers car, so I follow the Italian cars up ahead by doing multiple burnouts. One in particular sends me giggling, and I even give the crowd a quick wave as they applaud my efforts.
So while my run in Vauxhall’s new Maloo is only a short one, that stint behind the wheel will forever be one of my fondest memories of driving. Roll on the 2017 Festival of Speed.