The other week I saw a journalist do something, and as a result I asked myself a question that I thought could be included in a future column. So I quickly jotted it down in the ‘columns’ notepad on my phone, and this is what it says:

‘It’s said that a person’s nose keeps growing as they get older. Is this true, or does it just become more accommodating to the finger some people insist on pushing into it?’

Anyway, it turns out there is no easy column outlet for this question. And it’s the end of the year, and I like to start the new year with a fresh, clean-ish notebook, so all of those ideas in my notepad that haven’t found a home, and aren’t likely to stretch to the 570 words or thereabouts of this column, will be expunged here.

My only problem with this is that I promised I’d never write a ‘listicle’ and this is worryingly close to one. Apologies in advance.

For example: ‘Finance killed the scene’, it says here. Actually, that’s probably not a bad column, but I can’t remember where I saw it written first so it’s likely somebody else’s idea. And it’s self-explanatory anyway: people don’t modify old spudders so much these days because they can have a new Audi for £200 a month.