Now that Fernando Alonso has decided to go elsewhere (quiet in the two-and-nines please), here are a few suggestions as to who might be good as Lewis Hamilton’s team mate at McLaren next year.

1. Katherine Legge.

Pros; the first female in F1 for years, she’s quick-ish, she’d lend the (small) McLaren garage a welcome extra dose of glamour, and Kimi Raikonnen would almost certainly be distracted if a sort was driving one of the McLarens.

Cons; there might not be room for Catherine’s make-up bag in the (small) McLaren garage, and although she’s quick, she’s not THAT quick.


2. Nigella Lawson.

Pros; the food in the McLaren motorhome woud be really scrummy and tasty, once again it would be good to see a woman in F1.

Cons; Lewis’ 10inch wastline might suffer, Nigella may struggle to squeeze herself into the cockpit of the MP28, McLaren could become something of a one-man-band when it comes to performance on race weekends (no change there then, eh Fernando?)