Yes, dear reader, you have read the headline correctly. It is with a heavy heart that I must confess the XJ has been sold on. But the decision was one motivated more by the series of circumstances that have come about over the past month, rather than just wanting it gone. 

Indeed, if everything had stayed as it had been, I’d still be smoking around in the old thing now. Unfortunately, the morning of 11 September put an end to that. You see, there I was was minding my own business, when a van began reversing out of a side road (the wrong way down a one-way street, I might add) onto the high street down which I was moving.

Assuming he’d seen me - and the other seven or so cars following - approaching, I sounded the horn a couple of times to let him know there was no way of stopping in time. He seemed to slow, so I steered around him a little just to be sure. Not far enough it turned out.