Those poor, unfortunate cheats at Audi are in trouble again.
This time it’s for another few lines of software code that allow cars to fiddle an emissions test. Cue the predictable long faces, furrowed brows and tutting disapproval of the mainstream media, which we’ve no need to repeat.
I’m not excusing it and neither should anyone else. But before heaping even greater scorn on top of a growing pile, a would-be critic really ought to spend a few hours in the company of a modern automotive engineer and get some perspective on the endless list of often conflicting targets they’re expected to hit for almost every facet of a new car’s state and function.
What an irony, then, that if you’re an engineer working down the road at Audi Sport, rather than at the mothership, you’ve no need to resort to ‘creative’ software coding to find a shortcut where you need one. You simply use the special dispensation that Neckarsulm has apparently been awarded from the laws of Newtonian physics. That, surely, is how this outfit can make a two-tonne RS6 Performance estate car hit 60mph from a standstill in just 3.4sec – as verified by the Autocar road test timing gear recently. And only that, you might imagine, could make the subject of this comparison test, the new TT RS, good for matching its equally jaw-dropping official 0-62mph claim of 3.7sec. That or rocket boosters.
Here is a TT that’s substantially quicker away from a standing start than most current-generation Porsche 911s, never mind a 718 Cayman. A BMW M2 is considerably slower as well – as is every version of the current M3, M4, M5 and M6. Both a Ferrari F430 and a 997-generation 911 Turbo take longer to get to 62mph. Absurd, isn’t it?