Currently reading: My 500bhp, £400k Brabus is atrocious – but I'll never sell it

This £400k behemoth might be thirsty and uncomfortable but owner Tom loves it

"I could drive it to the moon and back and run over everything on the way,” says Tom Exton about his Brabus Mercedes G500 4x4², also known as the G500 Squared. I don’t doubt it.

In addition to the ‘regular’ Squared’s gains over the standard G500 (more than twice the ground clearance, thanks to the fitment of portal axles, a wider body, deeper wading capability, larger 22in wheels and steeper approach and departure angles), its Brabus-tweaked bi-turbo 4.0-litre petrol V8 produces 493bhp, up from 416bhp.

Not that Tom claims to care much about any of this. Instead, for him, that it can conquer almost any terrain is sufficient reason to own it: “You can drive up and down flights of stairs, through lakes and all sorts of useful stuff – although I’ve yet to experience any of that driving around Wimbledon Common.”

He bought his G-Wagen almost three years ago but, despite its ability to go anywhere, has covered just 1000 miles: “It’s atrocious to drive and not something you want to do long drives in. The steering doesn’t really do anything and you’re never sure where the corners are; you’re just up there guessing. It keeps you on your toes.

"Also, it’s not air-sprung, so it doesn’t waft along. Instead, the suspension is coil-sprung and is horrendous; you feel pretty much every bump. It’s very uncomfortable. There is a Comfort mode and a Sport mode, but I can’t for the life of me detect any difference between them. Both feel awful.”

Tom isn’t exactly selling it, but then suddenly he remembers why he still owns it: “I’ve driven almost everything under the sun and there are very few cars I get in and which make me smile; this does. It’s an experience and makes me smile every time. Of course, not everyone smiles when they see it.

Back to top

Some do, but some get cheesed off by it. It depends where I’m driving it. It towers over everything and can easily block a country lane. People who encounter it in the countryside are either terrified or angry.”

Tom first came across the big Brabus when it was part of a private collection: “The owner was a rich man, and when he went for a drive in his Pagani Zonda, his security team followed behind him in this. When it came up for sale, I just had to buy it.”

Tom reckons that it cost around £400,000 when new in 2016, but says he paid “less than £200,000” for it in 2022: “I don’t regret buying it. Mercedes is hardly likely to make anything quite like it again.”

The purchase price was one thing, but the running costs are quite another. “There is an economy mode but regardless it gets through petrol like there’s a hole in the fuel tank,” says Tom.

Servicing is expensive too. For example, the geared hubs require regular oil changes to prevent them falling apart. At least Tom doesn’t have to travel far: his local Mercedes dealer has a Brabus department that looks after it.

In spite of its uncommunicative steering, awful ride, lane-filling dimensions and heroic thirst, Tom can’t imagine himself ever parting with it: “It should last forever, so if I can afford to, I’ll keep it.”

Join our WhatsApp community and be the first to read about the latest news and reviews wowing the car world. Our community is the best, easiest and most direct place to tap into the minds of Autocar, and if you join you’ll also be treated to unique WhatsApp content. You can leave at any time after joining - check our full privacy policy here.

Add a comment…