I do hope that 2014 brings all you really wanted for yourselves and your family.

Just imagine, though, if you could commission a manufacturer, any manufacturer, to make you a car. So this isn’t just a case of choosing a colour and general spec. Oh no, what you can do is commission a complete and utter one-off. 

So here are the rules: it can run on potatoes, it can have seven doors and a sunroof and it can be absolutely anything you want it to be. 

The manufacturer, coachbuilder, blacksmith, dress shop or even your local garage has until 31 December 2014 to pull off this feat and deliver the automotive wonder to your door.

I would certainly like some newfangled engine that maybe runs on lawn clippings. I think that can be done in a biodigestable methane type way. Easy. I won’t have to pay for that highly taxed fuel any more.

I don’t need a big car. It can be compact but what it must be able to do is break off into a third. What that means is when I need it to I can separate off the motorcycle bit. Yes, the offside wheels, along with some of the body, detaches, so I can buzz around town easily and not pay parking charges. No one can nick what’s left of my lopsided car, either. Oh yeah, and the bike is electric, too. How very environmentally wotsit.