Small Chinese-made flags fluttering from foreign hatches - you couldn’t make it up.

This week, those England flags flying from car windows everywhere are top of my most irritating list – and they will remain so until we go out on penalties.

Obviously at my country pile I fly the flags of all the competing nations (joke), and on the road I drive a British-built vehicle, so I feel no flag is required (no joke).

In these dark times, which are reminiscent of the ‘export or die’ climate of the late ’40s we really should be backing Britain. But we really don’t have much to export, do we?

I’d like it if Gordon Murrary’s Little Tikes-like T25 made it big, but stuffing batteries into a prettier Smart would seem to me to be the more obvious answer.