For some reason, car crime today doesn't seem to attract tabloid headlines like it used to back in the 1980s and early 1990s. 

Some say cars are harder to steal, although I’m not too sure about that one. Even though cars may not always go missing, they are still a target for the toe rags who want to steal from them or just modify the bodywork.

I live in a rural idyll. It's far away from the mean streets where I was brought up, where even pushchairs had padlocks. For reasons I can’t divulge, I do get to see the local crime statistics, and in my manor nothing naughty ever happens.

Nearby market towns are rather more rowdy. In those, apart from the drunk and disorderlies and domestic flare-ups, there's a little bit of parked vehicle damage and theft from cars.

Around my way, blues and twos are very rare, especially after dark, so I was confused when I heard the familiar siren of a Police Vauxhall Astra heading down my lane. I found out the reason for all the excitement the next day, when I came across a blameless Fiat Stilo.

Presumably the miscreants had abandoned the Stilo once their efforts at graffiti had overtaxed their tiny minds. Well, that and the fact the Police were on their way.