It’s got hardly any steering lock, either, so U-turns are near-impossible unless you’re in the middle of a field, so on road it’s best to think in terms of W-turns, instead.
The engine is pretty good, though. These late models use a Ford Transit-derived 2.2-litre diesel, which has a pretty effective slug of low-down torque. It may take 14.7sec to hit 60mph from a standstill, but it feels punchy in the low gears and, with good driveability, would no doubt be perfect for off-road use. Despite the comically long-throw gearlever, the six-speed manual gearbox is also surprisingly obliging and easy to use.
Beware of the shorter, stubbier gearlever for the transfer box, mind; touch it and this irksome blighter has the potential to waste five minutes of your life, as you wrestle with it in an effort to escape a box full of neutrals.
It was 1984, the year Land Rover introduced the 90 model, that Defenders finally lost their ancient leaf springs and gained something approaching modernity: the coil spring. However, live axles, front and rear, remain to this day, and they certainly are lively. I can’t think of a single moment when Huey Jr wasn’t bouncing and bobbing over some bump or other - or, for that matter, listing mid-bend like a stricken ocean liner.
You’ll be unlucky to get caught speeding, mind, as these Landies struggle to reach much more than 80mph flat out. But before you hit that heady speed, you’ll be wishing all Defenders came with ear defenders. The combination of wind noise and road roar is deafening, and that’s before the added percussion from the vibrating driver’s door.
How about the ergonomics? Well, you need to open a window if you want any elbow room, and the lights-on warning device in a Defender is an ignition key that you can't remove while the British Leyland-sourced light switch is still in the ‘on’ position.
There are attempts at luxury, such as air conditioning and heated seats. But even with the Alpine head unit - which includes a single-slot CD player - there's no disguising Junior’s bloodline, which runs directly back to Huey Sr and 1947.