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It was the wheeled technological wonder of 1991 but not so long ago I saw one at the bottom of a stack of scrap cars, and another mouldering on a roadside verge.
Most cars must end their lives at some point, but there’s still something faintly amazing about seeing a car as heroically indomitable as this S-Class laid to waste.
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High Tech
This was Mercedes’ fattest saloon for decades, conceived during an economic boom, built as solid as a pyramid and rammed with technology. It carried as many motors as a robotics factory, its seats whirring every which-way, its doors soft-closing themselves shut, its rear bumper so distant that a pair of chrome prongs motored skywards from the rear wings so that you could see where this Benz ended rather than hearing it.
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Timing
But the W140 was all about bad-timing, this fat, arrogant, ugly-looking car arriving on the crest of a fresh-whipped recession, like Mr Obese making a dive-bombing arrival at a pool party just as the drinks are running out. Mercedes got flack at its Frankfurt show unveiling, and lots of it. Its case wasn’t helped by the W140’s look, which was heavy, ill-proportioned, graceless and unsubtle.
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Quality
Just as you’d expect, the W140 was luxuriantly spacious, plushly accommodating and hermetically quiet with those double-glazed doors, and despite its heft, most of the six and eight cylinder motors could propel its three-pointed star with the authority of the dictators who would ride in it. But the best bit of S-Class motoring, the most unexpected bit, was the way that you could pilot a car that was as big as a continent through a set of s-bends.
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Agility
This Mercedes could move, with the alacrity of gymnasts and GTIs. It stopped, too. The unlikeliness of this performance would be rammed home if you glanced in the rear-view mirror, to see a living room’s worth of carpet, upholstery and woodwork following on.
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On the Road
Driving the door handles off a W140 is best performed alone rather than with ricocheting passengers, and preferably with a throbbing V8. But most S-Classes have spent more sedate lives, shuttling business types, hotel guests, bankers, diplomats and politicians across the planet’s surface, many racking up moon-shot mileages in the process.
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Pricing
Looking at the prices of S-Classes in 2018, the cheapest example we could find was a 1992, 120,000 miles S300, priced at £2995. We also spotted a 1994, 65,000 miles S500 V8, which was on sale for £5750.
With the rarity of V12 S600 becoming greater, we located a great example 1992, S600 with 86,000 miles on the clock for £12,495, but be warned: prices for rare versions like this are moving firmly up now.
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And finally…
Reasons to want one: Double-glazing, central heating, wood trimmings – this is your chance to own the wheeled home of financial gnomes
Why you’ll run a mile: You’ll probably feel a fraud unless you really are important; finding somewhere to put it