Due to some financial issues not unconnected to motor cars, I recently had to do a bit of ‘commercial’ scribbling to earn some extra potatoes.

It involved reading through a comprehensive motoring survey that included figures on the cost of running a car in Britain in 2007. Apparently, it's going to cost an extra £549 this year.

God, I wish my motoring was only going to cost a monkey more than last year's. I'm already up on last year by £2650, and that’s on welding alone.

A knocking big end and I could be looking at the sort of hyperinflation that hit Germany in the 1920s.

Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be normal, and to run a new car with menu servicing. When I’m servicing my two old motors, there’s no menu in sight.

And afterwards there’s not much chance we'll be looking at a menu, either. We’re more likely to be living on baked beans.