I notice that the people who can often be relied upon to find your car after it has been pinched, Tracker, are giving us something else to worry about.

Apparently criminals can program their own key fob, circumventing a car’s security system and allowing them to simply drive it away. 

So the days where they had to break into your house and find that bowl with the keys in it in the hallway are well and truly over. Once inside your motor they plug in a reprogramming unit into the car’s diagnostic port. This then connects to the car’s computer and provides the thieves with the access codes needed to program a blank key fob, which allows them to drive away scot free.

Keyless entry also seems to offer an 'open sesame' of previously unimagined proportions. In that case then, shouldn’t we get back to some old school anti-theft devices?

Krooklocks and similar were actually quite easy to break, but some of the bigger and more bad-ass versions from the ‘90s were actually good enough to deal with the hot hatch crime wave back then. Indeed, when I lived in London, apart from a radio going AWOL, the handbrake/gear lock I had seemed to be 100 per cent effective at keeping hold of my VW Golf GTI.

I think that when it comes to car security, the lower the tech the better. Without revealing all my in-car security measures, I do find that my simpler vehicles are easier to isolate. I have some secret squirrel switches that need to be prodded and flicked before engines will fire. Plus there are time delaying and very visible steering locks. Mind you, there are quite a few people I know who can’t even engage first gear on my Land Rover, so that seems safe enough.

You can’t stop bad people getting inside your motor, but I think with older, dumber cars there is tons you can do to slow the thieves down. Then again if they have a flat bed and a bit of time almost anything can be taken and hot bedded away.

Probably the very best anti-theft device is a mentally unstable, slobbering dog, unleashed inside the motor. Or locking it away in your garage with a dog outside that.

So my question is, without giving too much away, just how do you protect your motor?