Why do fingernails grow faster than toenails?

Is there anything less likely to make one want to park and ride than a Park and Ride service? At various points last year, these questions, among others, I’d written into a notelet on my phone, from where I intended to deftly weave them into this weekly column nonsense.

Alas, they will go unanswered, despite 51 chances to sort them in 2017. Yes, it’s a new year so I have decided to eliminate many never-to-be-used ideas on my telephone by having a small purge. Because, desperate for ideas as a deadline approaches though I often am, somThe e things are not fit to run to 570 words.

Why will nobody overtake a police car on the motorway, for example? Because they don’t want three points but are too dim to realise they won’t get them. See? Solved in 16 words.