You’ve probably found yourself being patronised recently by some rent-a-hack’s five-point guide to saving fuel.

You know the sort of thing: the imminent arrival of the £6 gallon has brought us a rash of unwanted advice as to how to keep petrol costs in check. This usually involves supergluing windows shut, driving largely naked to save weight and – with wince-inducing obviousness – not accelerating quite so hard.

Where’s the fun in that? Which is why, inspired by the seminal 1970s advertisement that told us to save water by sharing a bath with a friend, I’ve come up with my own guide to getting more miles from your tank.

Disconnect the fuel gauge

No, really. Pull out the wiring, paint over it or prise it out with a screwdriver. Now you’ll drive like you’re leading a funeral procession to maximise the range left in your tank, and to avoid the humiliation of having to complete the journey on foot.

Buy a V8

The best way to break the drive-everywhere habit is to have a vehicle capable of gargling unleaded quicker than the late, great Oliver Reed could work his way down a set of bar optics. So while diesel-engined superminis buzz everywhere flat out, you’ll instinctively learn the joys of tickling the throttle, coasting down hills in neutral and slipstreaming trucks on the motorway.