Apparently it‘s all ‘Go, go, go’ quite soon; but the trouble with the start of the Formula One season is that I just don’t care.
As someone who loves cars in general, and racing liveries in particular, the idea of vehicles competing to be the very fastest should in turn get my motor running. But it doesn’t. Somehow that makes me feel less of a real car fan. I really do feel left out when the pub conversation turns to just what’s been going on during practice. So what?
It does seem to be a pastime for nerdy boys and girls to speculate over wing heights, tyre compounds and driver abilities. If it gives them an excuse to get up super early or stay up super late and watch the telly fair enough.
I’m not going to mention the automatons who do the driving, either. Or the corporations involved that means you are effectively cheering on a fizzy drink or a mobile phone network provider.
For me, the greatest motorsport event ever was created specifically for television and it was called Rallycross and appeared on ITV's World Of Sport. It was where old rally cars went to die. There was mud, drama, sideways action, overtaking and recognisably different vehicles. Back in the ‘60s it was Minis vs Europas and Porsche 911s. No, really, and there were Escorts and Simcas and Capris, too, in the ’70s. World of Sport is no more, but I believe Rallycross is still available to watch on Eurosport.
If you don’t like all that mud, though, there are always autotests to watch as an 'alternative' motorsport. Essentially it's a parking competition but far more skilfull and exciting than watching a load of F1 cars follow each other around a track.
Whilst I remember, touring cars are brilliant as well. European ones, especially the ones from the ‘70s and ‘80s. Germany still gets it right there I think.
The simple fact is that Formula One just is not a sport. The driver in the best car wins, every single time, which is true in every competition, but it is the dullness that is so overwhelming. What it should be is a no rules, all-out technological warfare between corporations or possibly countries, a bit like it was during the 1930s.