In 2008 I shall mostly be looking forward to our Government suddenly realising that all this climate change nonsense has been a terrible mistake. Consequently the words carbon and footprint will never again appear in the same sentence and C02 related road fund licensing will become a thing of the past.

I’d like to think that it has everything to do with the time that cabinet members spend on forums to find out what real motorists think. I understand that Alistair Darling logs onto the forum as confused_badger_@_11, Gordon is sinister_back_seat_driver, whilst Ruth Kelly has lost her password, although it did turn up on a disc the other day in my bin.

I understand they have finally got the message that we are all mightily fed up with all that unnecessary tax we are paying based on a questionable scientific theory. So the Government will now accept that they can’t actually change the weather by squeezing more money out of the motorist.

Indeed, the cabinet have been so impressed by what a well adjusted, enthusiastic and positive bunch us Autocaristas are that they will be introducing legislation to make cars more much interesting with compulsory pop-up headlights and zero road tax/VAT for cars with Caterham levels of power to weight ratios.