According to my neighbour I now own – and I quote - “the most morally reprehensible line up of vehicles” she has ever seen.

I must stress that we do get on very well, in the way that nice middle class people with different opinions and outlooks on life often do. After all, we do the same dinner party circuit and charity fundraisers – all that sort of thing.

However, when it comes to green issues we do beg to differ.

Obviously I don’t see anything wrong with my current collection of cars, which I am actually rather proud of. However, I do concede that there are some cars in there that could give a greenie some serious vapours.

My challenge to you this week is to come up with the most entertaining green bothering engines you could own. I dunno, an uncatalysed Kia Pride, a two-stroke chainsaw, a T34 Tank and an MOT emissions failure Veyron, spring to mind as examples.

The funniest suggestion will win a copy of my new book, Bangernomics Bible.

A lot of people have asked why I’ve published this. Well, I can reveal that I wrote it in response to public demand, when one person tried to borrow it from their local library and the only copy there had been defaced by an Autocar reader and then used to mop up a tea spill.

So if you want to get your hands on the Bangernomics Bible (do say alongside your submission if you don’t -  I quite understand), then come up with a garage full of inappropriately extravagant conveyances and CO2 belchers.