I have a terrible confession to make. I love fag packet racing schemes. Obviously they look brilliant on racing cars, but I think that they look great on everything. Not just racing cars, but T-Shirts, Mugs, garage doors and wallpaper. I recently saw a hideously expensive ‘70s retro bucket seat which needed cheering up with a classic fag packet colour scheme.

Obviously the idea always was for the fag packet to look stylish and attractive so that you would buy them and inhale. Well, the inhale part didn’t work with me, but I adored the JPS and Gold Leaf Team Lotus colours which looked brilliant on the road cars too. I also remember people doing up Capris in the Black and Pinstripe JPS scheme too.

I also adored the Rothmans colour scheme on the Porsche 959, 956, 962 etc. The Marlboro McLaren still looks so minimal and elegant. They even stuck it on the F1 too. However I didn’t go a bundle on the Peter Stuyvesant RX7s and the Camel F1s. Oh yes Embassy Hill. almost forgot that one. White with a red stripe.

So from the foul smell of cigarettes, to the masking benefits of high end fragrance.

Yardley McLaren. The Revson era ones, beautiful. Also on the smelly front is Roger Clark's Cossack rally cars. But I digress.

So everyone, am I alone in loving these retro, evil, colour? Or should we just go for a primer grey ‘Two Lane Black Top’ Look? (Google it youngsters)

Health Warning: And finally, just remember kids, that smoking is not grown up and its not clever, it makes your breath smell, teeth go yellow and you’ll cough in the morning and die way before the rest of us. Oh yes and boys/girls (delete as appropriate) won’t kiss you.