First there was a Kamikaze pheasant which dithered by the roadside before hopping into a field. It then doubled back and made the fatal decision to dash from the safety of the verge, whereupon the Jag ended its life, but took the offside headlamp with it.
Then a touch merchant’s parking in a multi story left a mark on the nearside bumper which is now cracked showing white plastic and looking a bit sorry for itself.
That all happened in a couple of hours and transformed an immaculate car into one that isn’t. The fact that I hadn’t cleaned it in the last eight months is utterly irrelevant.
The interesting fact is that dirty, damaged cars are not usually that cool, whereas beaten up electric guitars, are.
Now I love guitars in the same unhinged, slightly neurotic and mad way that I covet most cars and you may be shocked to learn that it is possible to buy brand new axes (Guitar dude speak for guitars) that have been seriously aged.
They basically have the appearance of well, Keith Richards. ‘Road Worn’ is one of the copyrighted phrases and the chrome bits will be pitted and the painted finish worn back to the wood in all the key strumming areas plus sundry dents and dings.
Of course pre worn cars would be an utter nonsense, or so I thought. But then the other day I was parked in the Series III and through its filthy split screen and over the rusty spare a similarly short wheelbased but brand new silver Defender parked directly opposite me.
It was all buffed alloys, sparkly side steps and the owner looked like someone in graphic design. It was all wrong. Clearly that Defender and its owner needed to be road worn right away.
So my point is which cars should look road worn (eg ex racers, minicabs) and just what cars ought to be road worn (a £1999.99 option) from the factory?