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A very serious power tool

Just how fast do you want to go in your 535d? If you have £1000 to burn, and you’re somehow dissatisfied with the sensational performance of the fastest-accelerating diesel production car this magazine has ever tested, the boffins at tuning house DMS can help.

By re-profiling the 535d’s engine management computer, torque is ramped up from 413lb ft to a claimed 478lb ft, with power up from 272bhp to a claimed 321bhp. We haven’t rolling-roaded the car independently so can’t verify those figures, but we did spend a day in DMS’s 535d Sport demonstrator and made sure we included a performance figuring session along the way.

The standard car is not slow: headline figures are 0-60mph in 6.0sec, 0-100mph in a stonking 15.0sec and 50-70mph in 3.3sec. But as soon as we stepped into the DMS car it felt even more brutal – it sounds louder and more aggressive, and the throttle response is breathtaking.

This car is astonishingly, ludicrously fast at all speeds, but especially above 100mph. It drank a little more fuel than the standard car, with cruising consumption dipping from around 31mpg to 28mpg at normal motorway speeds, but the electrifying throttle response would lead you to think it’s worth it. The only other downside was a bizarre surging when you floored the throttle and kept the car in a high gear at lowish speed. Apparently a faulty air mass sensor was the problem.

How quick is it? Try 0-60mph in 5.5sec, 0-100mph in 13.5sec and 50-70mph in 3.0sec. When we really rack our consciences, we’d probably hesitate before chipping a 535d we’d bought with our own money – it’s already incredibly fast and there’s something comforting about leaving it as the factory intended. But that shouldn’t stop anyone looking for even more pace from the greatest diesel car on earth, because this conversion is a good one.

Bill Thomas

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