Alpina B5 Edition 50 2015-2016 review

The transmission shifts swiftly and smoothly, although it’s intelligent enough to hold a gear and allow jaw-dropping, uninterrupted acceleration if you want. The rate with which the B5 Edition 50 can get from 60mph to 120mph in seventh, for example, is quite astonishing.

It will probably not surprise you to learn that the Edition 50 is supremely capable on the autobahn. On an unrestricted stretch near Alpina’s Buchloe base it felt stable at 175mph and it was still pulling strongly. Slower traffic is likely to intervene long before the engine runs out of puff, we’d say.

The exhaust makes a louder noise if you’re in either of the B5’s more sporting modes, and you can hear deep woofles as you lift off the throttle (from outside the car, they’re actually crackles). It’s not quite as crisp as a Mercedes-AMG rasp, but it has an appealing Nascar-esque thud if you decide to get a lick on.

Equally, in the car’s more comfort-orientated settings the engine is barely audible at all - especially at a fast motorway cruise, where it’s pulling less than 2000rpm at well beyond the UK speed limit.

The ride in Comfort mode is genuinely cosseting, although there’s a fair amount of body roll to go with it. The suspension still feels pretty compliant in the sports modes, too, but while the body control is undeniably tighter, the B5’s weight means that it’s still not that happy about sudden changes of direction.

It can’t quite disguise its bulk or offer involvement in the same way as, say, a Porsche Panamera, and it's a flaw that's compounded by steering that's deliberately light and frustratingly uncommunicative.

Traction is also an issue, regardless of which setting you’re using; the rear tyres do squirm under hard acceleration, to the point where we think it could be a right old handful on a wet, bumpy B-road.

The cabin is little changed from that of the regular B5, but that's no bad thing. The quality of leathers and materials is superb and you get a fair amount of equipment by BMW standards. Then there's the level of exclusivity that Alpina offers; many buyers relish taking months to choose and fine-tune their car to their exact specification, thanks to a bespoke trim department, and we can see why they would.

Should you have the wherewithal to buy one, you can’t. Alpina is producing only 50 B5 Edition 50s, split between saloons and Tourings, and the UK allocation of just two cars (yes, really) has already sold out. If you want to sample Alpina’s most outlandish interpretation of the BMW 4.4-litre V8 engine yet, therefore, you’d better speak to UK importer Sytner about the B6 Edition 50, which uses the same powerplant.