Paris. Fashion week is yet to finishing blowing through the capital, but it will take some show to upstage the kitsch, colourific display held by Land Rover on the banks of the Seine to officially unveil the new Discovery Sport.

Flying the car up the river (á la Jaguar XE) had been mooted, then spiked by the French authorities. So instead of swooping, we got chugging, the huge barge chartered for the task hitting its mark at a tardy crawl. Dressed in astroturf and littered with wellies the size of phone boxes, the set was empty for what seemed like an age before our star entered stage right (and left) to dawdle up ‘n’ down artificial dale for the cameras.