"First we will warm the tyres up, then we will go..."
Belgian world rally ace Thierry Neuville could pass for a visiting foreign exchange student, but for the fact he's strapped behind the wheel of a Citroen DS3 World Rally Car and his mood has just switched from friendly chit-chat to total concentration.
The 24-year-old selects first gear and boots the throttle. With short gear ratios and about 320bhp from the 1.6-litre engine ("the exact power figure is a secret - even to me," explains Neuville) we soar off towards the turnaround at the bottom of the hillclimb course at the Goodwood Festival of Speed.
I yank on the belts strapping me down low into the co-driver's seat just as he gives the handbrake a tug. The car pivots on the spot and as we swing round I gulp a deep breath, and brace myself.
Throttle nailed the car carries on going round... and round and round again. Neuville catches the final slide and fires the DS3 forward in a lurid drift. All this before we've even started the official run.
"I think the tyres are warm now," he chuckles down the microphone. "I hope you are ready, there is more of that to come!"
He may be in total entertainment mode rather than going for a time, but to watch Neuville's face, hands and feet is quite something. Launch control engaged, we fire off the line, bang up the gears and then then the show begins, his feet working the pedals much like a tap dancer might hit the floor, his arms twirling this way and that but his face never conveying any of the drama that's unfolding.
At every opportunity he donuts the car, yet at no point does it ever grind to a stop. With the car set up soft and on gravel tyres, it's happy to slide, and when Neuville wants to get going again he waits for the right moment and fires it up the road. My brain is struggling to keep up, or even know which way we're pointing, yet for all the smoke and dizzying pirouettes Neuville is never in anything other than total control.
As we flash across the finish line he turns to me. "It's okay, the run to the line is straight now," he grins.
I can just about manage a 'thank you' before I realise what's coming. The road may be straight - and narrow - but Neuville has no intention of driving in a straight line. He drifts the car across the track from side to side, unfazed by the proximity of the straw bales even when he gets so close he kisses one, knocking off the onboard camera.
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WRC: Time to Change
The WRC is not doing well enough because the FIA has emasculated the sport . Men in suits who are not competent enough or passionate enough about the sport have been making a succesion of ill-informed decisions, the result of which is the WRC we see today.
Rallying was bulit around the events - rallies such as the Monte Carlo [ the 5 day event, not the mickey mouse rally nowadays] and the legendary Safari Rally [ dead since 2002 after the FIA revoked its WRC status - akin to removing the British Open from the Golf circuit].
The Wimbledon will always be great, no matter who winds it - the event is what makes the players - not the other way around.
Likewise, if all your events in the WRC are either sadows of themselves, or have been replaced by unknown, charcatre less rallies, then who's interested ?
Get back the classic rallies, allow the cars to be interesting, sensibly control costs without killing the character of rallying, and the WRC will live again.
I still occasionally youtube Mikkola or Rohrl driving a quattro on the Monte, or Waldegard or Makinnen conquering the Safari, maybe Sainz winning the 1000 lakes - but rarely do I watch current rallying - dont get me wrong, Loeb is a great - only if he drove in the golder age of rallying.
Lastly, the quality of the coverage is lacking - I've seen amateur footage that captures the spectacle better than the crews that currently have the monopoly on the footage.
BTW , I'm just in my mid 30's, grew up loving the sport.
Bin there done that
The only way is to follow the real fans and get into special stages and just hold your breath. The sheer speed and the noise is shattering your brain cells. I love them, had the chances of joining some of them and loved every moment. Still the best sport. Sad that it is dominated by one genious - but that happens from time to time in every sport - from boxing to football