I notice that the British Medical Association has called for the extension of the current ban on smoking in public places after reviewing evidence of the dangers. It highlighted research showing the levels of toxins in a car can be up to 23 times higher than in a smoky bar.

Well docs, thanks for your expert opinion. I appreciate you diagnosing the dangers, but really leave us alone. So I was pleased to read that British Car Auctions put it all in proportion when they said that smoking devalues your car.

Never mind the cancer, those icky stains and that nasty whiff is going to make your motor more difficult to sell. Having said that, I have bought cars that have been smoked in. It’s unavoidable and obviously being me I didn’t pay that much, but sometimes stale smoke is the least of our problems.

I once took a BMW 3-series as a part exchange, which was a dog. No really, a dog had lived on the back seat and even though the car was only two years old it stank so powerfully of canine that I had to drive it with my head stuck outside the window, like a dog.