That ad for the new Mazda 2 is rubbish, isn’t it? That one with all the dancers and the crap music and the stupid tagline: “Mazda 2: it’s fit”.

It does nothing at all for the car, which is a great piece of engineering and a vast, vast improvement over the old model. It fails to create any kind of feeling or emotion, apart from the thought that turning the TV off might be a good idea. It's just a totally misguided waste of a minute of your life.

I am mildly obsessed with car ads. I think it has something to do with the fact that when I was much younger, my mother wouldn’t let my brother and I watch ITV. It meant we never saw TV ads. And that means, of course, I’m now unusually interested in them.

And car commercials are some of the best, and most diverse, on telly. VW has always, always made brilliant ads, except for the one for the Eos which was peculiar, and utterly lacking the exceptional ability to sell an idea, a feeling, rather than the car. BMW does brand management through advertising well too; Toyota’s "respect" campaign for the Yaris is delightfully low key and clever as well.