You know the scenario I’m talking about here.
You’re traveling along a busy motorway in lane three, and the traffic is moving along just fine, and then along comes Mr White Van Man, lights ablaze, undertaking anyone and everyone that he can, causing brake lights to come on left, right and centre.
So as he cruises past you on the inside, you think to yourself; no way my friend, you are NOT going to push your way into that gap. Which then presents you with a dilemma.
Do you do the right thing? Do you ignore the berk, in other words, and let him in, knowing that, soon enough, he’ll get bored of sitting behind the car you were sitting behind and continue to undertake his way out of your orbit.
Or do you close the gap to the car in front to a point where Mr Undertaker can’t actually muscle his way in?
We all know that we should try to do the former, that we should turn a blind eye, let the idiot get on with it, give him the gap he so desperately desires and then continue to drive on down the road, safely, with your heart beating at a non-stratospheric level, and without engaging in some form of bizarre road rage incident.
But, just occasionally, you think: 'Nope, I’m not having that. I’m not just going to roll over this time, especially not to a bloke with his xenon headlights ablaze at 10am on a bright sunny morning, and who appears to be texting while simultaneously eating a kebab at 92mph up my inside.'
And so you do it, you close the gap. Mr Xenon’s car lurches slightly as he realises there’s no longer a gap, and then he brakes. Which causes the next 18 cars behind also to brake, and just for a few seconds the M1 south near Toddington teeters on the brink of a pile-up.
Which, if it did actually happen, would be just as much your fault as that of Mr Xenon. Remember that the next time you think; no way pal, not a chance in Hades I’m letting you in.
Next time it happens – because it will – it’s best just to take a deep breath, think some happy thoughts, maybe contemplate what lovely things you’re going to do this coming weekend, and then let the bloke go. Let him make and have his own accident, somewhere else, with someone else. Otherwise bad things will inevitably ensue. Fair enough?