Presumably Porsche announced yet another version of the 911 in Paris [two actually - ed]. That’s one reason why I wasn’t there; another was because I’ve been researching the wonderful world of Porkers.

Why I’ve been doing this won’t become obvious until about a year’s time. For the moment, though, with the help of pictures, learned volumes and rubbish I’ve written over the years I can pretty much decide which ones I like.

Now obviously its heresy to say you don’t rate a 911, but personally I’m not that bothered by them. The other day in a traffic jam there were two in front of me and both were the same grey metallic colour. Obviously they could have been part of some sort of 911 display team, but I reckon it was a regional director of some conglomerate and some banking fellow. No imagination, so that’s why I don’t like them.

I do like 924s, though: honest, reliable and fun to drive, but not in the ‘through a hedge backwards’ way that contemporary 911s were. Of course, a really honest 924 would have had four rings on the bonnet, but hey, it’s got pop-up headlamps. Obviously the 944 is even more brilliant, an S2 in mint condition would be a lovely. Throw in a 968 of any description really and I’ve almost got my three favourite Porkers right there.

Except that the car originally designed as a 911 replacement, better known as the 928, is the single greatest Porsche that will pummel long distances into complete submission. It still looks likes the future to me; for once the Car of the Year jury went out on a limb and got it spot on.

Still, by all means tell me just how little I know about cars in general and Porsches in particular. What’s your favourite and why?