Who wouldn't desire (rather than merely want) a reliable car? Well, according to this year’s What Car? Reliability Survey, which compiles data from almost 25,000 Brits on how their car has treated them, the answer is… most of us.

The results for cars up to five years old were as perplexing as they were predictable, but what was most stark was just how badly the brands that are generally considered to be the most desirable – aspirational, even – fared.

Of the upper end or premium marques beyond overall victor Lexus,