I find it odd that a country without any indigenous car industry and plenty of anti car rules, regulations and pricey permits, continues to host the most eagerly anticipated car show of the year. Why don’t we take it to somewhere that actually likes cars?

Germany? That’s the obvious choice. They make all the best cars in the world and I rather like the Frankfurt show. I know that the regulars think it's a load of aircraft hangers joined together, but I rather enjoyed it when I went. There were loads of cars and surely that’s the point. Otherwise relocate to Bavaria when the Beer Fest is on.

Italy? Nice food, climate and smartly turned out people. Nice architecture too and they still turn proper cars. There are several venues but Turin in the Spring has a nice ring to it.

France? I never understood the clearly mad decision to locate Disneyland Europe somewhere near Paris. I’ve been to that and it is rubbish, mostly because the French really don’t like the idea of Americans or American ideas of decent service being in Europe. So we won’t go to Paris.

Britain? We do actually like cars. A lot. We’ve got more specialist magazines, clubs and general car nutters than anywhere else in the world. I think the UK shows have been scuppered by sulky foreign manufacturers, greedy promoters who want to charge an arm and a leg and possibly car hacks desperate to go that exotic extra mile and not wanting to rub shoulders with the likes of you lot.

Geneva? It’s an industry love-in and not for the likes of Mr and Mrs Hatchback looking for the lowest PCP. However, Arthur and Arlene Autocar would enjoy it, so why not relocate the show somewhere nice and relevant like Coventry.

Failing that let’s just go back to Brum, or Earls Court. So come on, where shall we all meet up to celebrate the cult of the car?