Ideally I would like to have my blog sponsored by a huge multi-national company with a generous expenses allowance, in order fund my otherwise unsustainable lifestyle.

Sadly there are few takers at the moment and I doubt that Mercedes will be signing me up anytime soon. Because I’m about to say that I’m not that tempted by the Mercedes-Benz Used Car Weekend. It probably isn’t designed to appeal to me anyway, even though it is, to quote Mercedes, supposedly a “Win-win for customers”.

There are – of course – low-rate finance offers of just 5.9 per cent APR on selected C-class saloon and CLS-class models, and the usual minimum 12-month, unlimited-mileage warranty as well as the unique 12-month Roadside Assistance Package, which becomes lifetime cover if the car continues to be serviced by Mercedes-Benz Official Workshops. And there’s more, because everyone gets the chance to win tickets to a Formula One Grand Prix and AMG Experience Days at Mercedes-Benz World.

So it’s a fun day out for all the family, but am I alone in not be very inspired by the modern-day Mercedes car? New C-class and E-class are supposed to be good, but the R-class is wretchedly ugly and can anyone explain the point of a B-class to me? There are just too many of the alphabetized Mercs these days. Their line up confuses a stupid person like me. And all the SLs look the same.

I want to like new Mercs, but I preferred the simpler time when they made small, medium, large and lorry models with easy to understand designations. I’ve looked at what my local outlet has up for offer and I’m not really inspired. It may have something to do with some lukewarm receptions I’ve had in Mercedes showrooms over the years.

If anyone can help me and explain what the appeal of a modern Mercedes is and exactly what they might buy this weekend, then please put me out of my Mercedes-induced misery.

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