Imagine, if you will, an island. In my mind it looks a bit like the one from Jurassic Park, but instead of being owned by a kindly benefactor with a penchant for creatures from the pre-Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction, this island is home to the world's greatest test tracks.
I know, I know, it would make for a less amusing film. But for the likes of you and me, probably a better visit.
In my head its coastline would, for a part, follow the same shape as the Nürburgring Nordschleife, an exact replica of which would constitute the main access and ring road. From it would spear off slip roads leading to full recreations of the world's finest roads and tracks. It'd be the world's greatest, bestest, biggest, superbest driving theme park; a one-way, traffic-free extravaganza with no chance of being eaten by a rampant theropod.
Suzuka, Laguna Seca, the Le Mans 24h circuit and Cadwell Park would all make my list, as would Millbrook's hill route and Track 7 from Ford's Lommel proving ground. The hill at Prescott would make for a neat access road. Would the entire Pikes Peak hillclimb fit? I think in my head it would (I'd stick the Old School cafe near Chobham at the summit).
I'd also find room for some of the Welsh roads where Autocar does a lot of its photography and where carmakers - including Ford and these days even BMW - finesse a lot of their cars' chassis. The B158 near my gaff in Hertfordshire would (traffic free and with much better visibility) make a terrifically challenging road too; and I've got a soft spot for a loop near Petersfield where I grew up, comprising Stoner Hill (which would be a wonderful hillclimb on its own) and parts of A32 and A272.
Does this all sound a bit geeky? It's not a blog I'll show the missus. Still, I'd be all over a two-week holiday on test track island. Which leaves two questions: first, what roads and circuits would you choose. And second: the island hotel's ten-car garage... what goes in it?