Odd, isn't it, how everyone professes to despise drivers who sit in the middle lane when the inside lane is empty, and yet the roads are full of them. Where are all the lane hogs when you're attacking them in conversation?

I've found some. They crop up in a little film the Highways Agency made called Lane Hog, which features some sound bites culled from drivers who happily admit to sitting in the middle lane.

More lane hogs appear on the odd discussion board scattered across the web, usually related to a news story on the problem. What's bizarre about this, in particular, is that the story will clearly explain why sitting in the middle or outside lane is not a good thing - because of cumulative loss of a vast quantity of road space leading to congestion, and the dangers of the frustration of other drivers - but these people seem to ignore all of this.

Their justification for this most irritating of driving habits is, normally, the following; that if they don't sit in the middle lane, they can't do a steady speed; that if they pull into the inside lane, they won't get back into the middle lane when they need to overtake; and that, most of the time, they're not even aware they're doing it.

Well here's a revelation for you, lane hogs. No-one can do a steady speed all the time on the motorway. And that's because there are other people on it, some of whom go faster or slower than others. You have to vary your speed, or you crash.

And if you're worried by the idea of changing lanes, you really shouldn't be driving a car, let alone attempting to deal with a motorway. Really, take the bus or something. Same goes for anyone who doesn't bother to check their mirrors occasionally.

Trouble is, I guess anyone reading this, on Autocar's 'site, will know this already. But if you do think sitting in the middle lane is a good idea, just let me know.

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