Enduring the Post Office queue the other day I got some unexpected live entertainment when a chap attempted to post a letter without an address on it. He thought simply putting DVLA on the envelope was enough. No stamp. No postcode. Just those four letters.
When he left, the post mistress told me more. He’d been sacked months earlier for failing to make the grade as a paper boy. On that basis he may have trouble with the driving test’s eyesight test… and don’t even mention the reversing around a corner, turning in the road or reverse parking, as well as a, now optional, ‘emergency stop exercise’.
Vehicle safety questions are also on the agenda, which these days means pointing vaguely at an engine cover. Oh yes, and there’s a theory test too, where you have to spot the ‘No entry’ sign.
Just think if the impossible happens and he gets a licence: he’ll be tailgating your A4, Cherry Bombing past your child’s school and cutting up your old mum’s Micra.
What’s needed is a test. A pre-driving test test. Applicants can just answer the sort of questions that doctors ask an old person when they are getting forgetful. Who’s the prime minister? How old are you? Where do you live?
These questions will be asked by an expert panel comprising sensible people like me and possibly you (if you pass the selection panel test first).
On the road though it isn’t that easy to avoid the stupid, feckless, intolerant and selfish drivers we seem to be breeding.