Love Machine, Bessey and Muscles. These, for crying out loud, are supposed to be pet names for cars. Apparently in 2003 celebrity names were the top favourites and included Kylie and Charlie. In 2009 it is Buster, Moocher and Boomzilla.

Of course, it must be the survey silly season. However, this isn’t something produced by one of those dim celebrity chav mags. Nope, it is those responsible people at HPI who make sure that your next used car isn’t bent, nicked or belongs to a bankrupt financial institution.

Oh dear, I’ve just fallen into the great big PR trap that was set for me. HPI (and there are other data checking companies out there) wants to get its brand across.

The thing is, surely no sensible person would call their car Bessey (incredibly, the only name to make the top 10 from 2003 to 2009) or anything equally vacuous.

Mind you I did catch myself this morning telling my daughter that the school run would be by the ‘Lorry’ (my preferred method of identifying our Land Rover). Otherwise I stick to the manufacturer’s badge, although Mini could easily be mistaken for Minnie.