Me an' Me Smart

Where to begin?

I'm loving the Brabus Smart, bought second-hand with some warranty left. The Brabus is made in silver or black. I'd prefer the lighter colour for such a small car. Anyhow, here are early impressions:

Negatives: Let's get them out of the way. Those alloys fabricated out of a solid piece of aluminium are sure to get kerbed. For a car that doesn't rust, flies by wire, and is designed to rebuff knocks, nicks and bumps, expensive alloys seem a reckless indulgence. Wipers are installed for LHD. They leave a three-inch-wide smear on the driver's side. The doors are very wide to allow ease of access and egress - much appreciated - but mitigate against the small girth of the car. Why not scissor doors? The hesitation in transmission so derided by automotive hacks is much cured in this new version, but still present if you push too hard in automatic. With such a small footprint the car gets pitched and tossed over our criminally crap city roads. Traffic calming bumps must be taken with due caution! The Brabus is lowered slightly compared to its regular siblings, suspension firmer. Advice you should go down a notch and buy a Passion or UrbanStyle for strictly city use is wise. Plus the road tax will only be £30. I caution you not to buy a Smart is you're overweight - that is, fat. You will look silly, the car an outer layer of skin about to explode.

Positives: The discovery of launch control for warp speed is a revelation; press down on the pedal slowly until the three-quarter mark and then punch down hard. The nose of the car lifts up in the air and the Barbus shoots off at rocket speed, an asset used on its journey from London to Edinburgh, overtaking powerful saloons with ease. Driving this microcar is a sporting event! There's no doubt this latest version is a far more mature car than the original. There is more room in the cabin than in my RAV4. Amazing. Heated seats are a boon on a cold morning. The glass (Perspex) roof makes the cabin light and airy. The sat-nav has a lovely husky female voice to usher you gently to your destination. Got all the first week's shopping in the boot. I like the split tail gate but dare not use it to sit as if a Range Rover on a picnic. Rest of build quality is unquestionable. Only £30 to fill its tank. Road tax £95! Wonderful!

Parking: It's here that the Smart comes into its own. The stress of parking dissipates instantly you get in. I'd have bought it for that characteristic alone. There's something smug in knowing you are not monopolising a large section of the road wafting a six-seat saloon. It can park and turn on a sixpence. Weaving in and out that crowded cinema underground car park to find a space is a doddle. No need to worry about the driver or passenger in the bay opposite slamming his door into yours. Your Smart takes up only half its bay. Those who say it gets stopped in gridlock same as other vehicles are exaggerating. Its motorbike skills soon have you slipping through the slimmest of gaps. Terrific. (Murray's T25 will be welcomed for that ability surpassed.) Last Minute Signal Man, the one turning right, usually frustrates by blocking your path as he waits for his to clear. The Brabus weaves around his inside track with the grace and ease of Fred Astaire in a pirouette with Ginger Rogers.

Driving: Its sticks to the road as if glued, takes corners as if a 911, but mine has the extra of power steering, a must, in my opinion, for city dwelling. Without it the steering is heavy when parking. There is some understeer but the electronics keep things in check. Push too hard and the car's smart brain will resist until it is ready - best to work with it not against it. Other than that I have no complaints so far ...

MPG: Too early to tell but the filler gauge indicates it isn't matching the official figures. More when I've had time to do proper calculations over time.

Dealer Service: Exemplary. Mercedes outside Edinburgh were couteous and oh so patient in the extreme answering my pesky questions when thinking of buying, generous considering I didn't buy the car from them yet they gifted a cup holder when I realised there's nowhere to place that tumbler and bottle of Pinot Grigio! (Di yi mean can o' lager, pal? Ye shouldni drink an' drive. Dae them one a' a time.) Main service is £300, intermittant only £200, thereabouts.

The Future: My Brabus is 8 secs to 60. The EV version is 6.5 to 60, leccy boosts take 3.5 hours from 20% filled, last for up to 85 miles heater and lights blazing, the batteries guaranteed 10 years with conventional use. Except for wheels the car has no moving parts, no road tax, no noxious emissions, doesn't rust, and offers neglible servicing. That has to be a great proposition for the city resident with a garage and power point who wants to suppress his motoring costs.