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Mon
Jan 07 2008

Government handbrake turn

James Ruppert

In 2008 I shall mostly be looking forward to our Government suddenly realising that all this climate change nonsense has been a terrible mistake. Consequently the words carbon and footprint will never again appear in the same sentence and C02 related road fund licensing will become a thing of the past.

I’d like to think that it has everything to do with the time that cabinet members spend on Autocar.co.uk forums to find out what real motorists think. I understand that Alistair Darling logs onto the forum as confused_badger_@_11, Gordon is sinister_back_seat_driver, whilst Ruth Kelly has lost her password, although it did turn up on a disc the other day in my bin.

I understand they have finally got the message that we are all mightily fed up with all that unnecessary tax we are paying based on a questionable scientific theory. So the Government will now accept that they can’t actually change the weather by squeezing more money out of the motorist.

Indeed, the cabinet have been so impressed by what a well adjusted, enthusiastic and positive bunch us Autocaristas are that they will be introducing legislation to make cars more much interesting with compulsory pop-up headlights and zero road tax/VAT for cars with Caterham levels of power to weight ratios.

I have been reliably informed that these radical changes will take place on or before January 14th. What a great year it’s going to be.

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About James Ruppert

Used to sell BMWs, but he's no yuppie; has a '64 Mini Cooper in his garage and a '57 BSA Bantam in his house. Has bought and sold hundreds of used cars, and he isn't finished yet.

Comments

Burnley Rover January 14, 2008 10:25 PM

I haven't heard from our dearest Ruth for ages now. Some say that she's gone into hiding and is ashamed to show her face. However, I'm sure I spotted her on Sunday driving the Harle Syke bus past Rosegrove, or was that Elvis?

Alastair Inglis January 17, 2008 3:01 PM

I see James that you speak wisely but i fear that 'carbon' is here to stay as business loves the ability to offset. Or cheat.  Did you see the latest report suggesting that drivers would be happy to pay more tax if it was spent on roads. Good to see the fruit loops are still getting their fair share of quango cash. Happy (if expensive) days. Loved the comment on R4 the other day that motoring is cheaper now than it ever was, mainly because we use the roads for free!!!!  

JJBoxster January 18, 2008 3:27 PM

James I agree about this Carbon Emission tax being 'nonesense'. You have to make light of CO2 taxes and all the other taxes they rip from our pockets and deteriate standards of living year after year. Baause if you didn't jest, you'd cry. At the state of a 'democracy' where public representatives can raise new taxes, pass legilation on the strength of an unproven theory about climate change. It's contempt for the institution just on this fact alone. But if it was little more than a smokescreen to hide Browns desperate need to raise more taxes to balance his crumbling books and fund out of control public spending then democracy has just suffered a mortal blow!

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